


it was only a kiss

by towokuwusatsuwu



Category: HiGH&LOW: the Story of S.W.O.R.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Trans Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Developing Relationship, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Enemies to Lovers, Established Relationship, F/M, First Kiss, Kissing, M/M, Multi, Polyamory, Trans Female Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-29
Updated: 2018-06-29
Packaged: 2019-05-30 10:35:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15094925
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/towokuwusatsuwu/pseuds/towokuwusatsuwu
Summary: noboru brings an injured kirinji back to the apartment he shares with cobra and yamato. iemura could only change so much of him but never the softest and gentlest parts of his heart.kizzy and kaito are partners in every way except one. kaito sees kizzy as who she is and who she will always be. maybe they can be partners in every way after all.koo is reeling from the reveal of rocky's tragic past and the loss of his family. he only wants the man he loves with all of his heart to know he will never stop support him.





	1. noboru/kirinji

**Author's Note:**

> based on a series of kiss-based prompts i wrote on tumblr. they are as follows:
> 
> noboru/kirinji + "when one person’s face is scrunched up, and the other one kisses their lips/nose/forehead" and "height difference kisses where one person has to bend do wn and the other is on their tippy toes"
> 
> kizzy/kaito + "kisses where one person is sitting in the other’s lap"
> 
> rocky/koo + "a gentle “i love you” whispered after a soft kiss, followed immediately by a stronger kiss"

“What’s he doing here?” The question rolls off of Cobra’s tongue as soon as Noboru walks into the apartment with Kirinji’s arm over his shoulders, supporting at least half of his weight in order to keep him on his feet. “Noboru, I don’t like this. You said that he was—”

Noboru cuts him off softly but quickly, not wanting to get into the specifics right now when he has someone in need of help right here with him. “Cobra, he’s not with Iemura anymore and he’s hurt. If you don’t want him here, fine. I can take him somewhere else.”

“He’s not with them anymore? Then he can stay,” Yamato says, and though Cobra gives him a look for that, he doesn’t argue anymore, so Noboru breathes a sigh of relief.

Kirinji grumbles at him the entire way into the kitchen, but Noboru ignores him for the most part just like he did back when they were in Iemura together. As long as Kirinji never addressed him directly, he ignored him to the best of his ability and just focused on doing the best work he could for the men who took him in. Now, though, he doesn’t even have to put forth that much composure and effort. He understands Kirinji being in a bad mood, and he understands that he’s probably the last person Kirinji wanted to find him, but he doesn’t have time for that. So when Kirinji slaps at his shoulder when he picks him up around the waist to set him on the kitchen counter, needing a better angle to treat his wounds, Noboru just rolls his eyes.

“I need you to hold still while I look at the cuts on your face. If you struggle, I can always ask Yamato to hold you still.” Noboru offers Kirinji his politest smile and breathes a sigh of relief when Kirinji finally stops squirming so much even if all he does is fold his arms across his chest with a pout. “Thank you. You know, you’re lucky I was the one who found you. Everyone else would be much less forgiving. You wouldn’t want to end up in another fight, would you?”

“No,” Kirinji finally spits out, and Noboru retrieves the first aid kit under the sink, turning on the light so he can see better than the natural sunlight allows him to. He barely bites back a hiss at the sight of the bruises on Kirinji’s dark skin, but Kirinji doesn’t miss his wince. “I fucking know how bad it looks, okay? You looked like shit after Nikaido-san fucked you up, too.”

Of course he’s upset, and of course he’s snapping at Noboru and trying to cause trouble instead of just talking to him. Noboru takes a deep breath to steady himself and then smiles, resting a hand on the side of Kirinji’s face. “You don’t need to talk to me like that. I was just thinking to myself that this looks very painful, and I want to ease that discomfort for you if I can.”

None of the cuts look like they need stitches; Noboru has become quite accomplished at telling them apart by this point, the ones that need more serious treatment. He picks up some alcohol wipes, gently dabbing at a cut on Kirinji’s lip, chuckling when he wrinkles his face up.

“I hate you so much. You get to walk away from all of that back to this and no one ever tried to hunt you down for it. You didn’t do shit for Iemura and you got off easy when you fucked up, and they—” Kirinji stops himself, twisting his lips up and looking away, and Noboru hums softly, relieved to see most of the cuts have stopped bleeding of their own volition.

“I was lucky, in that respect. I would suppose you were lucky, too, that I found you. They might have come back later to finish you off. Nikaido-san brought me a gun, after all.” Noboru doesn’t like to remember that night, but he never lets it stray too far from his mind just the same.

Kirinji blinks wide, wide brown eyes up at him, and Noboru thinks it might be the first time he ever said something even slightly vulnerable in front of him. “I didn’t know about that.”

Eventually Cobra and Yamato venture into the kitchen for food, stealing kisses from Noboru as they walk around him to reach the refrigerator. Yamato glances over Noboru’s shoulder at Kirinji’s face for a few minutes— with the blood wiped away and the cuts neatly cleaned and a few patched up, he looks remarkably better— before heading back into the living room when Cobra calls for him. Noboru doesn’t miss the way Kirinji tenses with them in the room like a small animal in the presence of predators or the way he relaxes when they leave. Noboru clicks his tongue; he wouldn’t have thought he was someone Kirinji trusted to have near him.

“They don’t mind you being here,” Noboru translates, finally setting the first aid kit aside and shutting it back up to store away once again. “I guess they walked it over while we were in here because otherwise they would have said something to you. But they realize you aren’t comfortable around them yet, and they wanted to be as unintrusive as possible.”

Kirinji makes a face at him as he slips off of the kitchen counter, furrowing his brows, pouting, an expression that he probably thinks is more intimidating than it is while it just comes off as cute to Noboru. Cute enough that he reacts without thinking as he’s done so many times with Cobra and Yamato in the past, leaning down to press a kiss to his nose. He doesn’t think much about it, not really, because Cobra and Yamato make faces at him when he cleans them up after fights, but Kirinji squeaks and darts back, his face turning pink.

“Oh, that’s cute.” The voice belongs to Yamato, leaning against the kitchen doorway. “Sorry, I forgot to grab a beer. You get him all patched up, then? He looks better now.”

Noboru retrieves a beer for all three of them. “Yeah. He still needs somewhere to stay.”

“Cobra says he can use the guest bedroom since it’s not like we need the second bed anyway.” Yamato shrugs a shoulder. “I wouldn’t question it. He must be in a really good mood.”

That, or Yamato kissed him into compliance and batted his lashes at him until Cobra finally relented. “Kirinji, you don’t mind staying in our guestroom? You’ll be safe here.”

“You don’t use the other bed,” Kirinji muses aloud, letting Noboru lead him to the living room.

“No,” Cobra calls out from his position on the couch, phone in one hand, drink in the other. “We can all fit on my bed, and there’s no reason for anyone to sleep on his own.”

Yamato flashes Kirinji a grin. “Who knows? Maybe we’ll find out it’s big enough for four one day.”

Noboru recognizes a typical solicitation when he hears one and rolls his eyes even as Kirinji stumbles over his own feet and barely rights himself before he goes sprawling across the carpet. It’s… kind of cute, Noboru thinks, seeing him away from the pressed suit and the formal behavior and the constant tics and agitation. Kind of nice, at that thought.

“Here.” Noboru hands him a beer before taking his place on the couch between Yamato and Cobra, both of whom lean into him as soon as he’s comfortable. “Make yourself at home.”

“I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit, actually.” Kirinji says, turning the bottle in his hands.

“Oh. Hold on.” Noboru stands, and Yamato whines pitifully. “Stop, I’ll be back. Kirinji, let’s go.”

“I just… Should probably stop bitching so much and thank you for, uh, taking me in like this I guess.” Kirinji drags his feet down the hallway but Noboru just shakes his head as he opens the door to the guest bedroom and flips on the light. At least they always keep it clean for whenever Hyuga drags himself through the window. “I, uh… Thanks for that.”

Noboru starts to tell him that gratitude isn’t necessary, but Kirinji cuts him off, bouncing up on his toes to press a quick kiss to Noboru’s jaw before hurrying into the room and shutting the door behind him. Noboru leans back against the wall, his fingers drifting to to his jaw, his mouth gaping open a little. Then he grins, shakes his head, and starts back toward the living room. Maybe Yamato had the right idea this time.


	2. kizzy/kaito

The first time is after one of their successful scouting missions. They should feel accomplished at their jobs, this much Kaito knows, but every time they bring in more women, he only feels dirty like he needs to shower away the night and put it to the farthest corner of his mind.

Kizzy is no better. Her dark red lips are twisted into an unattractive moue, which is quite a feat given Kizzy has never looked less than attractive to Kaito. She sits in the passenger seat of their car with her arms folded across her chest and one elegant leg crossed over the other, her foot tapping against the door of the car. Every inch of her body screams her displeasure and yet Kaito doesn’t know what to do to make her feel better. He wishes he knew what to do.

He looks at her at a red light, raising an eyebrow, waiting for her to decide on a destination.

“Home,” she says without looking at him, her eyes fixed on the window and whatever she must see through it. “Yours. I don’t want to go back to my apartment right now.”

That’s interesting enough that Kaito has questions, but he swallows them and simply starts on the way home, thinking that he hasn’t brought a woman home in longer than he would like to think about. But how could he, when he works for a group like Doubt? He can’t bring himself to so much as look most women in the eye right now, and he wonders how Kizzy manages to bring herself to this job every single night. He doesn’t ask, though. It isn’t his business, and he knows that she has her own reasons for doing what she has to do to make ends meet.

Not that his apartment is exactly in shape for a woman to be brought to, but he doesn’t think much about tidying up. He usually comes home from work, showers, and sleeps. If he’s hungry enough he’ll throw something together, but he usually eats while he’s out so he doesn’t have to think about it. Kizzy doesn’t say anything, though, just keeps her body folded up small and angry while he locks his apartment door behind them and flips on all of the lights.

“You don’t care if I crash here tonight, do you?” Kizzy asks, dropping down so hard on the couch that she bounces a little with the movement. “I should have asked first, but—”

Kaito shakes his head, making a beeline for the kitchen. He doesn’t have much in the fridge, but he brings her back a bottle of water before he sits down beside her, leaving space between them.

“Thanks.” Kizzy uncaps the bottle and drinks long and deep, and Kaito watches the elegant line of her throat as she swallows, almost unable to help himself. She’s the most beautiful woman he’s ever met, and he’s privileged to get to work alongside her each and every night.

She sets the bottle on his coffee table then looks at him, her lips smoothed out into something thoughtful. “Kaito…” She stops, then tries again, “Kaito, how do you see me?”

Oh. It’s like that tonight. “You’re a woman,” he says without thinking twice about it.

She stares at him for a long moment, as if considering his words, and he hopes she doesn’t ask him for more because he doesn’t like to talk to begin with. He lets his fighting and his fists do the talking for him when he needs to. But she doesn’t. Instead, she plants a hand on the back of the couch and swings one of her legs over his lap until she’s straddling him. It’s a strange experience for him, to have a woman just sit herself on his lap like this. It’s not unpleasant.

“You said that without hesitation. I like that.” She slips her fingers just beneath where his hair hangs over his forehead, brushing it back with a little smile while he tries not to shy away from the exposure. “I like you, to be honest. You’ve never been less than good to me this whole time.”

Kaito doesn’t know what to say to that, if he’s supposed to say anything at all. He just bites down on his lower lip and nods, wondering why she decided to get so close and not entirely sure how to ask. He isn’t a talker. But Kizzy seems fine with this. She plays with the ends of his hair, rolling the strands between her fingers, her glittery nail polish catching the low lighting in the room. Kaito wonders if she has any idea how casually beautiful she truly is.

“I want to kiss you,” she tells him, and he blinks at her, not sure what to say or how to reply to that sentence. In all of the time he’s been her partner, sure, he’s thought about it from time to time. Sue him, he’s single and she’s easily the prettiest girl he’s ever laid eyes on, and the two of them have a chemistry unlike anything he has ever encountered with anyone else. And she never makes him speak when he doesn’t want to. “Nod or shake your head at me.”

Kaito chuckles but nods and Kizzy leans in immediately, her lips oh so soft against his, her lipstick a little sticky, a little sweeter than he expects. He doesn’t know what to do with his hands; he rests them on her hips, letting her get situated as she wants on his lap while her fingers curl in his hair, twisting his head so he’s positioned how she wants him.

She kisses him harder than any other woman has before and he likes it, lets her tilt his head back, opens his mouth when her tongue presses between his lips. She’s aggressive in her affection and he moans a little into her mouth, his fingers digging into her skin through her jeans. This was an impossibility in his mind, the idea that Kizzy would ever see him as anything more than her partner, and now he doesn’t know how to handle this. He’s glad she doesn’t expect him to say anything because as always, she renders him speechless.

When she leans back, she licks her lips pointedly, her lipstick smudged around her mouth, and Kaito imagines he’s wearing some of it now. “It’s not a bad shade on you,” she says, and he smiles at her, thumbing a bit of red off of his lower lip. “I like you, Kaito. I like you a lot.”

“I see.” Kaito looks up at her, can see her waiting for something, so he tells himself to rough it out a little big longer, to give her a few more words so she can be reassured. He doesn’t want her to be any more upset tonight than she already is. “I like you too, Kizzy.”

She leans in to kiss him again and he lets her, his hands moving from her hips so he can wrap his arms around her and pull her in close. And she lets him, curls a hand around the back of his neck and the other on his shoulder. And he decides that her staying the night is preferable, and he’s glad she came to him.


	3. Chapter 3

Koo has been staring down at the same page of his book for the past twenty minutes or so, listening to the familiar sounds of Rocky locking up their apartment and getting ready for bed, not absorbing a single word in front of him. If he’s being honest with himself, he’s still mentally back in Club Heaven, recounting and recounting the story Rocky told him about his father, about his family, about all of the terrible things that had happened to him.

A lesser man would have been petulant about the fact he hadn’t been told at any point in their relationship, but Koo isn’t. He’s grateful that Kaito and Kizzy returned, grateful that this conversation was finally able to take place because he can’t imagine living a life with that foundation all alone with no one else to talk to about it. He can’t imagine that suffering.

He brushes his thumb over the corner of his book, watching the pages riffle, listening to the soothing sound. They have to talk about this, don’t they? He can’t pretend it didn’t happen. He can’t pretend Rocky didn’t trust him with that information, or how hard it must have been.

As soon as Rocky appears in the doorway, Koo marks his place in his book— he wasn’t going to get anywhere in it tonight anyway— and sets it on the nightstand. He watches Rocky double check that the windows are locked before he comes to bed, all lean muscle and grace.

Rocky has never looked like he needs someone to hold him together. Koo appreciates that about him, that quality of strength, but he wishes he could just brush it away for a moment. He wishes he could find a way to tell Rocky he doesn’t have to hold it together all the time.

“Hey.” Rocky pulls himself up onto the bed, leans his shoulder against the headboard, in nothing but his white silk pajama bottoms, his eyes dark and intense as they meet Koo’s searching gaze.

“Hey.” Koo offers him a smile, but it’s hard to smile at a time like this one.

Of course, Rocky sees right through him. He’s always had that ability. And this time, he sighs. “You look like you want to say something. So just go ahead and say it.”

“I just wanted… To thank you, actually. For telling me about your past. It must have been very painful to remember what happened, but I’m very grateful that you trust me with that kind of information.” Koo knows he sounds needlessly formal right now, and he wishes that was a quality he could dismiss at a moment’s notice because he feels like it’s hindering him.

Rocky snorts and turns his head away so all Koo can see is his profile, sharp and yet somehow soft in the softer light of their bedroom. “We’ve been together. I should have told you already.”

“No.” Koo says it harder than he intends and Rocky’s head snaps around so fast it must hurt. He acts like he’s on high alert, and Koo wants to hold him, to do anything he can to calm him down. “You had every right to wait to tell me. I’m not upset with you for not telling me sooner.”

Rocky makes a noise in the back of his throat but leans back against the headboard, and now Koo can read the lines of tension in his body, the way his muscles tense. He isn’t used to seeing Rocky like this other than when they find hurt women, when he’s so worried and upset for them he almost can’t contain it. Seeing him like this, over something between them… It’s painful.

Koo rests his own shoulder against the headboard, stretching out a hand to take one of Rocky’s in his, twining their fingers together. “I would have waited all my life if you wanted me to.”

“Just feel like… That’s something you’re supposed to tell people upfront, or at least sooner than literally years later.” Rocky laughs, but there’s no humor in the sound. It’s harsh and ugly.

“I don’t know how many ways there are for me to tell you I’m not mad at you, or upset with you at all.” Koo cups Rocky’s cheek with his other hand and he doesn’t miss the way Rocky presses into his touch like he’s been looking for it. “I feel so trusted when you tell me anything.”

Rocky inhales, and the sound shudders, and he closes his eyes as he presses himself into Koo’s hand once again. “I just… It’s a lot. Some people hear that and they don’t wanna stay.”

“Well, I’m not going anywhere. I didn’t come this far with you just to run away because you have pain in your past. In fact, it only makes me want to stay more.” Koo shifts closer to him, letting his fingers stroke Rocky’s skin, doing his best to soothe him. “You suffered that pain, you watched your father hurt your mother and sister, and you survived. And you didn’t become a monster. You didn’t learn to hurt women. You used your power to save them instead.”

When Rocky opens his eyes, the beautiful velvety brown Koo has become so accustomed to is glossy and wet and it makes his gut twist to see Rocky on the verge of tears over this. He doesn’t need to be insecure about this, to wonder if Rocky thinks so little of him that he thinks Koo would walk away over this. Because people have. People have left him over this, and that’s why he’s afraid, and it’s not about Koo it all. It’s about all of those people in the past, people he pities because they walked away from the most amazing man Koo has ever met.

He watches the way Rocky takes women in every day, the way he watches after them, the way he nurtures them. He’d met Kizzy tonight, the bright spark of a woman who must have suffered in Doubt, having to bring women in that she must have empathized with. And Rocky had taken her in, and given her a home, just as he has for so many others. How could anyone walk away?

Koo watches Rocky squeeze his eyes shut, watches one stray tear fall and gently thumbs it away, warm dampness on his skin. “I’m not going to tell you that you shouldn’t cry,” he murmurs, shifting closer, dropping Rocky’s hand just so he can slide his arm around his waist and pull him closer. “I’m inviting you to do it. You don’t have to hold yourself together anymore. You don’t have to put up a front for me. I’m here for you, and I want you to trust me.”

The way Rocky curls into him is reassuring in its own way, and Koo wraps his arms tight around him just as Rocky’s face presses against his neck. He can feel the light tremors already working their way through his body as he slowly unravels, slowly lets his walls down.

“You amaze me more every single day,” Koo whispers into his ear, rubbing his back soothingly while Rocky slowly starts openly crying, soft sobs that break Koo’s heart to hear, but Rocky has to let it out, and Koo has to be here for him to let it out. “To have done everything you’ve done, to have saved and helped so many people. Everyone in our gang adores you.”

He thinks Rocky snorts a little at his words, but he lets it go because Rocky will have to open his eyes and see that for himself. Koo can’t just prove it to him, after all. But he can prove one thing.

“And I adore you most of all.” Rocky keens softly at him and Koo squeezes him tight, reassuring, letting him know he’s right here for him and he isn’t going anywhere. He’s right here, and he plans on staying here for as long as Rocky will let him. “I fell for you so hard and fast that it surprised even me. But you were well worth it. I’ll always stay beside you through everything.”

It’s enough for Rocky to fully break down, loudly sobbing into his shoulder, and Koo just holds him through it, tears pricking his own eyes to hear the noises Rocky makes. His hands scrabble for something to hold onto, clinging to Koo’s shirt as tightly as he can, and Koo lets him because he wants Rocky to know that he’s always going to be here so Rocky can anchor himself.

It kills him to think about that sweet little boy who saw his family destroyed, who came home to find his family dead, and he hates that he can’t do anything about that. He hates that they aren’t like Cobra, Yamato, and Noboru who have known each other since they were children, hates that he couldn’t be there to offer Rocky a shoulder when he needed it the most. But he’s here now, here to hold him through the tears and the pain that still no doubt hurts so deep, and he’s going to stay here. When Rocky is at his worst and worried that Koo will leave like other people have in the past, he’s going to take him by the hand and remind him he’s here forever.

“I’m sorry,” Rocky chokes out, and Koo bites down on his urge to tell him he doesn’t have to be because he can tell Rocky has more to say, and he has to let him say it no matter how much it stings. “I wish I could have told you sooner. I wish I wasn’t fucking falling apart like this now. I wanted to be better than this. I didn’t want to be so fucking fragile.”

Koo leans back so he can look into Rocky’s eyes, and it rips into his chest to see the tears on his cheeks, to see his eyes red and wet. “You’re allowed to be fragile with me. You’re allowed to need my shoulder to cry on sometimes. What you endured… I wish I could have been there with you so I could have helped you. You are the strongest man I know. Don’t apologize for this.”

He cups Rocky’s cheek before he can argue with him and kisses him smooth and soft and sweet, can taste the tears on Rocky’s lips and ignores the pang in his gut. He just focuses on kissing him, on molding their mouths together, on showing Rocky without words how much he loves him and adores him, how he would do anything with him. Most importantly, how he isn’t going to leave him. As if Koo could ever imagine a life without Rocky in it.

“I love you.” He strokes Rocky’s cheek, brushing tears away as he does. “I love you so much. With all of my heart. And it’s okay if you’re afraid I’m going to leave, it’s okay if you’re afraid to tell me things because other people have hurt you. You can’t control that fear and I’m not going to blame you for it. But I’m going to be here to reassure you that I’m never leaving you, over and over. I love you, Rocky. As far as I’m concerned, there’s no one else for me.”

He kisses him again, harder this time, putting his emotions into actions because he doesn’t have enough words to convey anything at all, nowhere near as eloquently as he wants to. Rocky presses into him needily and Koo kisses him harder, and it’s messy and wet because Rocky is still crying, but it doesn’t matter because it’s exactly what Rocky needs. Koo holds him close and kisses him until neither of them can take it anymore, have to pull back to breathe, and then he kisses the tears off of Rocky’s cheeks until Rocky hides his face in his chest.

“I’m so tired,” Rocky finally says, and Koo laughs and smoothes his hair back, planting a kiss on top of his head because it’s the easiest part of him to reach.

“Sleep,” he coaxes, and he manages to get Rocky to tilt his head back enough to plant a kiss on his forehead. “I’ll hold you the entire time, and when you wake up, you’ll be waking up in my arms. I promise I won’t go anywhere, Rocky.”

Rocky sniffles, and it breaks Koo’s heart all over again. “I… I really do believe that.”

“I’m glad. I love you.” This time, Koo steals a kiss right from his lips.

Rocky’s eyes are still closed when he leans back, but he smiles. “I love you, too.”

Koo would be lying if he tried to pretend that his heart didn’t do a backflip every time Rocky says that. “I’m going to turn the lights off now, and you’re going to go to sleep.”

Rocky hums at him but nods, and Koo leans over him long enough to switch the lamp off before relaxing back into the mattress. He opens his arms wide and lets Rocky curl into him however he wants, tucking his head up under Koo’s chin, asking to be small, to be sheltered tonight.

In the dark, it’s easier for Koo to lose a little of his composure, but he keeps his breathing as relaxed as he can as he strokes long and gentle down Rocky’s back. He makes distressed faces in the shadows, wishing he could do more, could soothe some of that deep-rooted pain in Rocky until he doesn’t have to break down like this. Until he can smile freely again.

He knows better than anyone that he doesn’t have that ability, but the least he can do is to stay here through the duration of their relationship together. He’ll be right by Rocky’s side through thick and thin, through the smiles and tears, just like he promised to be, and he’ll always be the shoulder Rocky can lean on when he needs him. And when Rocky can finally smile freely once again, Koo will be there to see it. He wouldn’t miss it for anything in the world.


End file.
